I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
He? As in you personified your dick?
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
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