Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
We had to coat check the pizza.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
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