His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
