I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
