My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Randomize
