im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
