so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
