Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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