The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Randomize
