Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
