She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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