I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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