So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
