I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
