Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
