she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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