We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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