When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
