Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
