I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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