He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
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