my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
