Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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