i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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