I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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