I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
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