My nipple is on Facebook.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
