I look better un-naked...
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
