So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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