i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
You need a sexual gate keeper
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
