If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
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