he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
