before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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