That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
