My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Randomize
