too bad you live with your parents still
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
