reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Randomize
