I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
