I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Randomize
