He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
