I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
