Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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