He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Randomize
