You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
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