I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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