I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
