I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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