I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Randomize
