how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
vagina is talking i cant
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
