Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
