Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
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