I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
