I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Randomize
