Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
