we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
