oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
