Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
it glows. i had to have it.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
